Waiting

It is 3 am and I find myself once again in the emergency room tucked away in a room waiting on an admission to open up on a regular floor. It's been a whole two weeks since we were last here. I have developed an infection in my left arm that started two days ago and has rapidly progressed from a rash on my hand to a spreading combination of a rash and large blisters that now reaches my elbow. It seems to have started from the last IV site but we are not 100% sure that is the case. The doctors are running tests and every few hours they draw a new line on my arm to mark the spread of the red streaks. Honestly, we are exhausted after having already been here for 13 hours. It took over 2 hours with different members of the IV team to get a new line started in my right arm so we could begin antibiotics. That line collapsed and infiltrated the tissue with a large amount of antibiotics. Now it is extremely swollen and feels like acid has been poured in my arm. Ugh. Currently, we are waiting on the next plan for an IV. Meanwhile, I am not getting the antibiotics that I need to stop the spreading infection in the left arm.

Waiting...waiting...waiting...

Why is waiting so hard? So frustrating? My scant wisdom at 3 am has decided that waiting is most often synonymous with suffering. We have become a society that wants everything now. When we can't make "now" happen on our schedule, the feelings of frustration lead us to feel like we are suffering. But are we really suffering? I don't know if I have the complete answer in the middle of the night, but I am inclined to think it has more to do with not being able to live and trust God's plan in the moment. If I am honest and think back to so many times that "waiting" has been part of this journey Steve and I have been on, I realize that those feelings of suffering that came with the "waiting" were a blessing. Suffering, in an unexpected and surprisingly empowering way, causes us to celebrate the joy in life in a way we couldn't otherwise. Do we have the faith to believe God's ultimate will for our journey is about joy, not despite suffering but through suffering? Are we willing to wait to find out?

Waiting with you; with much love,

Lee

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Comments

Joan Bouck:

I just read you're most recent post (I was not in the office yesterday) and I am so sorry that you are having all of this to deal with. I hope that you are resting easier and that you are feeling better and receiving the care you need and deserve. I know it must be so frustrating and difficult to deal with, but hang in there. Prayers and hugs to you, Joan LFD3

Mark Colavecchio:

Heading over this morning Lee. Les and I, as well as Leadership Team at NB are also praying. So sorry to watch this happen, but the way you're handling this is so inspiring. Thank you for living out what is so easy to just teach...

Sandy Temple:

Words of wisdom! I am praying for you, sweet friend! I love you❤

Amy Garland:

Been praying for you in the -waiting-.

Praying God gives your medical team clarity, accuracy, discernment, and wisdom. Praying for you and Steve to feel "His incomparably great power." Much love sweet friend!

Ellen Bunch :

Praying for you Lee Bob. If more of us had your determination and faith this world would be such a better place. Love you

sandra henry:

Late seeing your update. I hope by now the nurses have been able to start your IV antibiotics and that you are in a room. So sorry that you are back in the hospital. Will pray that the infection will go away completely. God bless you, Steve, and your medical staff. ❤

Jane Levin:

Thinking of you at this moment and praying for God's wisdom for the medical staff. Praying for you to have peace and hope and joy in the midst of this storm. Love you! Jane and Andy Levin

Michele Staley :

Lee, praying for you. Having EDS myself I have anxiety about what comes up on a daily basis. Your faith, hope and trust in the Lord inspires me. You are loved by God and in my prayers for answers and healing. Love Michele

Teresa J Brooks:

Dear Lee: I'm so sorry for this new health challenge you and Steve are facing. Praying for God's healing, mercy, patience and comfort for both of you. Love, Teresa

Kurt Kroschel:

Praying for you every time I drink from that UT coffee mug (which I do quite a lot!). The Lord brought the scripture to mind: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Steve Braden:

Uncle Steve and I are praying for answers. I just finished reading on Paul's trials and infirmities but he still glorified God. Praying God gives you and Steve strength through these trials. We love you guys.

Bruce Ensign:

We are so sorry to hear you are back in St. Pete's. We are praying for you and Steve. Know you are loved by us...

Judy Wilson:

So sorry to read about this latest challenge. Sending positive energy and prayers your way.

Stephanie Patchin:

Love you and praying for you both in this time if waiting! Praying for wisdom for the doctors and medical staff. Praying for opportunities to share the hope and joy you have in Christ, during your stay at the hospital! Thank you for sharing your story and loving us in it and through it.

Aaron Hammond:

Thinking of you!

Molly Deines:

Love you. -Molly

Vickie Hill:

Sweet Lee Bob...we are keeping you, Steve, and the doctors in our prayers! Love you