Twenty Years

I do.

Four words that changed the course of our lives. Four words that ushered in the beginnings of great mysteries and miracles of a life we never imagined. Four words that have been a constant companion in the deep valleys, the caverns of death, as well as the mountain tops. Four words that have not failed young, tender hearts as they have grown and matured. Four words that have known deep despair, suffocating sorrow, persistent pain, jubilant joy, bountiful blessings, prevailing peace, and God's grace. Four words that began with hope in Jesus. Four words that now find ALL hope in Jesus.

Over the last week Steve and I have been celebrating our wedding anniversary (April 15). We felt like twenty years deserved more than one day of remembrance and reflection. We headed to the warm and non-rainy American Southwest. I was profoundly struck by the embroidered words on the bed pillow in our condo:

Retreat. Relax. Renew. Rejoice.

The exact directions we needed for our week away! I wanted to ask other guests of the resort if their pillows said the same thing! It seemed so specific to us.

Retreat: withdraw and get away from the busyness of life.

Relax: sleep well (no middle of the night emergency dispatches), eat healthy, soak in the sun, don't check iCal, stash the iPhone in the drawer for the week, breathe deep.

Renew: dig deeper into the Scriptures, read the marriage books that have piled up in iBooks, revisit our wedding vows, communicate on deeper levels.

Rejoice: praise Jesus for everything of the last twenty years, revel in the joy of having a best friend for over thirty years (best friends since we were twelve years old), rejoice in hope that is not found in ourselves but in Jesus.

In last year's post I wrote that it was the first time in our married life that we would celebrate this day without me being sick and in extraordinary pain. Well, another year later I am overjoyed to report the healing from my brain and spinal surgeries of December 2013 continue! This year I get to celebrate another 12 months of amazing love without the distracting cloud of illness and pain. I am extremely thankful for the truths that suffering has so diligently carved and chiseled into my soul but I also rejoice in the first complete year of pain free life in twenty-six years. Profound thanks to all of you who have prayed for me for years and I hope you are rejoicing in the answered prayers and truly the miracles that God has worked to his glory alone.

On our week away, an evening I will always remember: We're sitting in the living room at the resort and Steve pulls out a notepad and pen and proceeds to ask, "Tell me ways that I can better pursue your heart." Awww. Tears. Seriously. After twenty years he is still committed to pursuing my heart in better ways.

Our remaining time away was filled with great discussion, lots of questions to each other (some very hard and pointed), reflecting over twenty years (all the physical/medical trials, blessings of seventeen foster children, great career opportunities, moving across the country, the love of family, the loss of family, the love of the fire family, and of course we covered all of the cars we have had -- teve's joy- and he was quick to prompt me to recall all of the handbags and purses I have had in twenty years. Oh my,I lose -- easily.) And this year we decided to craft a mission statement for our marriage along with the objectives to meet the mission statement.

All profitable and successful organizations/businesses have clearly defined mission statements. Why should a life-long commitment to marriage be any different?

Our mission statement will direct our priorities, our calendars, and our finances in the coming years. "We exist to praise the glory of His grace." Ephesians 1:3-6

To my husband I say: your servant-leadership, un-wavering love, humility, faithfulness, wisdom, steadfastness -- in these and a thousand other ways you show me the love of Christ every day. Your self-sacrificing love towards me gives me a glimpse of Jesus. It daily points me toward Jesus. I am continually amazed and blessed by your love even when I love so incompletely, when selfishness rules my heart and I demand my own way, when I need to be right, when I fail to encourage you and build you up, when I don't respond in a spirit of love and humility, when I fail to listen with an open heart and mind, when I fail to lovingly communicate with you, when I just out-right fail to be the wife God has called me to be. It's hard to express what I feel ... All I know is you love me anyway ... unconditionally. Wow. Tears. Truly the mystery and miracle of marriage.

I never dreamed that twenty years later my heart would quicken with the sound of the garage door opening signaling my best friend was home from work or that I would still get butterflies in my stomach when his hand clasps mine in the car. Or the enjoyment of sending "love texts" through emojis on our phones during the day. Or just the warmth that is felt when capturing each other's gaze in an ordinary moment.

Our prayer is that we may live with the praises of God in our hearts and on our lips. We've seen God in ways that we would have never imagined. We've been given the amazing opportunity to learn to rely on and trust in God's character like we couldn't have otherwise.

These twenty years have been about hope. Not hope in ourselves, but hope in Jesus. It is at the foot of the cross that the greatest hope is demonstrated and it is at the foot of the cross that our hope is found. This love from Jesus and my best friend, my beloved, shows me the continual mystery and miracle of marriage. It leaves me pondering and reflecting ... and anticipating tomorrow ...

I do.

Four words twenty years ago ...

Twenty years later ...

Because of God's grace, now two words...

We do.

Thank you for continuing to check in on us and loving us so well. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. May this day find you experiencing joy in the journey...

Messages

Amanda W

April 18, 2015, 6:53 PM

Happy anniversary!! We love you both! Thank you for your example of a Christ- centered marriage filled with grace, tenderness, love and forgiveness. Thankful for y'all :)

Sally Brabston

April 18, 2015, 6:57 PM

all hail the power of Jesus!!!!!

Debbie Knox

April 18, 2015, 6:59 PM

So sweet, you need to write books Lee!! Happy Anniversary...I remember that day well!! May your next twenty years be even more filled with love and joy!!

James Broman

April 18, 2015, 7:32 PM

Amen...and Amen! Thank you for sharing intimate thoughts and prayers...more tears. And Happy Anniversary from an Old Bear, similarly blessed.

Ruth Warner

April 18, 2015, 7:41 PM

This is a profound testimony of the faithful of Christ to His children. Few have endured what you personally and YOU collectively have endured. It is a blessing to read your updates. I am so happy for you - both. I pray God continues to bless you.

Teresa Brooks

April 18, 2015, 7:54 PM

What a beautiful letter -- thanks for sharing it! God Bless both of you with much love and many more years of happiness. Love, Teresa

Lisa Curral

April 18, 2015, 8:01 PM

Lovely. A witness to the Trinitarian love.

A.J. Paulsen

April 18, 2015, 8:38 PM

Congratulations and happy anniversary to you both. A.j and Amy

carol heck

April 18, 2015, 9:08 PM

Congratulations to you both, we are glad to call you our friends! Look forward to seeing you again! Carol & David Heck!

Eunice Goodwin

April 18, 2015, 9:15 PM

Ain't true love great! What a beautiful gift you have given us with your words. I hope you are writing a book! Much love to you both, Eunice Goodwin (and Dan)

Sande' Korp

April 18, 2015, 9:49 PM

Happy Anniversary Steve and Lee! We serve an AWESOME GOD. Sande' Korp Knoxville, TN

Royce Brooks

April 18, 2015, 10:23 PM

I praise God it has been 20 years since I had to look at that flowerdy vest you made me wear. Love you, Gary

Alex Christiansen

April 18, 2015, 10:45 PM

That was awesome. Well done and congrats!

carol sparks

April 18, 2015, 11:18 PM

What a tender, special, heart warming message from your 20 years of marriage. Happy anniversary and may God give you many, many more. In His Graced, Carol Sparks

Shirley Keith

April 18, 2015, 11:39 PM

A simple congratulations!

Sandy Moye

April 19, 2015, 12:26 AM

Happy 20th Anniversary!

Susan Jenkinson

April 19, 2015, 1:27 AM

It is always a blessing to my soul to read your posts. I always think of you guys on "tax day". Thanks for making that day something to celebrate. Your love is and always has been something beautiful. Happy anniversary to one of the most amazing couples I know. Love you guys!

Teresa Heikes

April 19, 2015, 2:43 AM

Happy anniversary. Wishing you both the best in the future. Mike & Teresa

Judi Johnson

April 19, 2015, 7:16 PM

Congratulations on 20 years. Dan & I celebrated 52 years on April 11th. An amazing journey. It is good to hear that you have had another good year pain free. You are both very special & I'm happy to have good news of you. Judi Johnson

Sandy Temple

April 19, 2015, 7:18 PM

You both continue to inspire me with your deep faith and love in Christ....and in each other. Thank you, again, for sharing from your heart. I am so happy that you are doing so well! Happy, happy anniversary to you both! Love you:)

Bill Terhune

April 20, 2015, 12:30 AM

Well Done! Congratulations to you both for what you have accomplished and how you have kept your focus on Jesus throughout it all.

Carolyn Hamby

April 20, 2015, 8:32 AM

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort!

Wanda Royal

April 20, 2015, 3:17 PM

Happy Anniversary to you both with many more to come!

Alan Provencher

April 20, 2015, 5:07 PM

Wow, what a testament to faith in the Lord and in each other. Best wishes.

Barbara Faubert

April 20, 2015, 11:41 PM

congratulations 20 years WOW Amazing what God can do. You all have much to celebrate. And you are praising Him. A friend of your Mom's. Barbara Faubert

Linda Hatton

April 21, 2015, 5:02 PM

Happy Anniversary - Love you both. You have always been an inspiration to me.

Jan Bennett

April 21, 2015, 7:57 PM

Glory to God in the highest! This is so beautiful.

D Ward

April 21, 2015, 9:02 PM

Congrats to a most wonderful couple!!!! We rejoice with you and your love and faith strengthen our hearts as we face our own ups and bumps in the road! Your dearest Grandmama is smiling !!!! Love always, Don and Debby

Sherry Walker

April 21, 2015, 10:07 PM

Happy twenty years of marriage. I love to read your post, I always get a blessing. Love you guys.

Bruce Ensign

April 22, 2015, 3:13 AM

Gushy! Glad to know people who are still in love after 20 years, and looking for a life- long commitment praising Jesus for many more years. May Christ continue to bless you.

Bruce Ensign

April 27, 2015, 3:19 AM

What an unexpected blessing of love to see you today. It was hard holding back the tears of joy. Hugs and smiles. Lot's of hugs and smiles!

Kimball & Elizabeth Parker

April 27, 2015, 5:59 PM

This was a wonderful way to celebrate and give praise for your 20 years and, more recently, pain-free life. Thank you for sharing your lives and relationship so generously! Congrats!!

Terry Puckett

May 11, 2015, 1:40 AM

God is indeed Good. So glad to hear of your pain free year. Happy Anniversary (a little late).

Rebecca Jones

May 12, 2015, 3:29 PM

Happy anniversary